20 Things About Me

I’m linking up with Kym at Travel Babbles today to tell you 20 things you might not know about me. I thought it would be fun, but it’s been surprisingly difficult to think of 20 things. I’m sure they’ll start bombarding me when I’m in the car later, though (oops, see #13!).

1. My dogs Bruce and Clark are named after super heroes (Batman and Superman). Both of them were surprises from my husband.

2. I was a cheerleader for 13 years and I still love it. In fact, I went to see Bring It On: The Musical last weekend.

3. I can quote almost any episode of Friends. I love to watch it as I fall asleep.

4. Pasta with butter and parmesan cheese is my favorite comfort food. Whenever I’m really down, a big bowl of it will usually pick me up. Throw in some jalapeno chips and you’re golden. Also? Pasta with butter was pretty much all I ate during my childhood and was the first thing I learned how to “cook.”

5. I hate doing dishes. Our apartment doesn’t have a dishwasher and I seriously cringe everytime we use a dish because I know I’m going to have to wash it (sooner or later).

6. I love to read and I go through books like underwear. I’ll read anything if I have to, but love chick lit and memoirs.

7. I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. I always think the worst when I have an odd twinge or pain, and live in constant fear that I have a tumor I don’t know about.

8. I’m a sister of Delta Phi Epsilon although I was never an active sister. I stopped caring about things like grades in high school which carried over to college and was strengthened when partying every night become the new norm. A poor GPA kept me from taking a little sister, competing in Greek Week, or having a position. It also kept me from graduating.

9. I want to write novels. This has always been a dream of mine, but my desire to work from home has made it grow.

10. My favorite movie is How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Runners-up include the new Footloose, the Notebook, and Remember the Titans. I will always put Stepbrothers on if it’s playing and the Fast and Furious movies are the background to my life. I was once in the backseat of a car racing on back country roads…half fun, half terrifying.

11. I became obsessed with makeup after a trip to the mall over Christmas break my freshman year of college with 2 friends from high school. They were getting makeup, not me, but I became friends with the makeup artist (you may know her as Jessica Romano from The Glam Fairy…if not, you should) and would sit and watch her do makeup on other people. Other times, she would do my makeup and show me what she did. I have no formal training in makeup other than short training sessions when I worked for Benefit Cosmetics and Chanel Cosmetics and 2 MAC artist classes. I currently work as a freelance makeup artist (in addition to my other jobs…plural).

12. Even though I’m 24 years old (and have been drinking since 14, shhh) I am still learning how to handle my liquor. Apparently, you shouldn’t lose track of how many whiskey shots you take, leading to crying and throwing up out a window? (Yeah, that story will be coming…and sorry, Frank.)

13. I am a bad driver. Honestly, my biggest drawback is that I have a hard time focusing while driving, which I didn’t even realize until I crashed my car. I have to force myself to keep my mind on the task at hand and not fiddle with the heat or radio, not stare at things out the window, not look at my phone. I never realized what a problem it was and it got me thinking that maybe I have ADD (please see item #7 above).

14. I’m 5’0. Yes, that is short. No it is not legally considered a midget. Moving on.

15. My desk at work HAS to be organized or I can’t get anything done. I find myself constantly re-organizing it lately because I’ve got so much going on right now and things are always piling up. Too bad I can’t say the same for my apartment!

16. I am extremely clumsy. I have fallen down stairs, tripped, busted ass in Starbucks, walked into doors, door frames, walls, cabinets, bang my knee on my desk regularly, cut my hand with any number of things I’m using, etc. At my friend’s wedding, I cut my palm with a steak knife trying to slice bread. After a few drinks in heels? I’ll need an escort.

17. I tend to wait until the last minute for everything. Major procrastination going on over here. I especially do this when I need to get ready, choosing instead to lay in bed for 10 more minutes or just watch this TV show until the next commercial. And then I’m late.

18. My handwriting looks drastically different all the time depending on how hard I’m trying to make it look nice. In school, I used to re-write my notes if they were sloppy. Sloppy handwriting is a pet peeve of mine!

19. I like to cook if and only if I have mass amounts of time and someone else will do the dishes for me. Also, it doesn’t hurt if the dish includes pasta which almost guarantees I’ll like it. I even ate (and liked!) green pasta in Aruba.

20. Last but not least, I am ridiculously scared of bugs. I make my husband kill them. I was really proud of myself for killing a big big BIG bug while he was away on his bachelor party, but I’m pretty sure it stayed squished on the wall until he came home. I know they’re smaller than me, but I definitely don’t think they’re scared of me.

EXTRA: This used to be my favorite picture of myself until my husband said he didn’t like it. Repeatedly. Kissy face fail.

There you have it. Me in a nutshell. Or rather 20 numbered bullets. Leave a few things about yourself in the comments so I can get to know you, too!

Resolute.

I love New Year’s. Not so much the partying and drinking; I’d rather stay in with friends and family and wake up without a hangover in the morning. I love the fresh start it offers, the chance to change for the better and the idea that the year isn’t tainted just yet.

2012 had its ups and its downs. I had the best day of my life and the worst. I married the man of my dreams and saw my mom fight a losing battle with cancer. I think I’ve experienced every emotion on that spectrum and learned a lot about myself in the process.

This year my resolutions, my goals for 2013, are focused on the better. Better for me, for my relationships, my work, my future. Five months into my marriage, I’m feeling a little more grown-up, a little less interested in taking shots or road sodas. At the end of the day, I want to feel good about myself, mentally and physically.

I don’t have next year all planned out; all I know is that I want to be better all around. I’m not going to commit to losing 30 pounds because I want to lose enough weight to feel good and then maintain that feeling. So my resolutions are less about creating a hard number and more about feelings (because I hardly ever talk about those).

1. I want to be healthy. I’m not trying to be the weight I was in high school or fit into a size zero. I want to feel good about how I look and comfortable in my own skin. I don’t want to feel sick or bloated because I ate too much crap. I want to like working out, or at least get hooked on the endorphins,
2. I want to have a clean and organized apartment. This doesn’t sound so hard, but nothing in my life is really organized. I want to know I can find socks and clean underwear when I need them and not need to spend 30 minutes searching for the hubs’ Christmas presents.
3. I want to grow this blog. It’s become an outlet for me and provides a way to connect with other people. Even my friends, people I’ve known for years, have become closer or opened up more to me because of Hot Mess, Cool Day. I’m so excited to see where it can go.
4. I want to be a better friend, a better wife. Despite a busy schedule, I want to make time for the people who are important to me. I want them to know they are important to me and not just because I say it.
5. I’d like to better myself educationally. Just because I’m not in school and without a degree doesn’t mean I need to sacrifice my intelligence. I’ve definitely felt “dumbed down” lately and it’s my own fault. Next election, I’d like to feel less lost (or like I have any semblance of what’s going on). And I would really like to get going on my book.

Those are the bare bones of what I would like 2013 to look like. And I wouldn’t mind s few more nights spent with good friends like we had yesterday. Hubs and I spent New Year’s Eve at a friend’s condo eating, drinking (a tiny bit), and playing Twister. It was a lot of fun, we stayed safe, and we avoided crowds and $100 open bars.

I came pretty close to the Twister tournament finals (as a former gymnast, I would hope so), but Daddy Long Legs Joe took the round. Honestly, I probably could have had him if I was willing to dislocate an elbow in the process. Other highlights of the night included a Clemson win, champagne and a brownie contest (go Meg!).

How did you spend your New Year’s Eve? Did you party at home with friends or brave the crowds to ring in the new year?

Me & Hubs right around midnight!

PS – you SHOULD be seeing Twister photos here but unfortunately I left my phone at my friend Jill’s house tonight and don’t have them! Typical Linds.

TGFPM…thank God for party mode! A least you can see other people’s photos courtesy of Google+!

Clemson win!

Bononno sandwich!

The girls and baby Wach (not yet born)…also, Julie isn’t interested.

Twister semi-finals…not even the most awkward part.

 

Also? I’m game for any party that involves yoga pants.

Purse. Handbag. Pocketbook.

A woman’s purse can say a lot about her: the style, color, detailing, but what’s INSIDE a purse is what’s really personal. I like to carry my whole life around in my bag, possibly because I’m constantly hopping from one job to the next to family parties or friend get-togethers. Even though my purse could be considered luggage for some people, it never seems to be big enough for all my junk. Speaking of my bag, here she is:

I’ve had this bag since 2007, and I keep going back to it no matter how many purses I get or what the current trend is. It’s from Coach and is actually a replacement for a previous Coach bag (my first one!) my mom had bought me for Christmas. The leather handle broke on my first bag and after sending it to Coach’s complimentary repair service, they determined it was unfixable and sent me a gift certificate for the original amount of the bag. Impressed by the amazing customer service, I decided the only just thing to do was match the amount of the gift certificate and buy a truly luxurious bag that I could use forever. And that was the beginning of our happily ever after. I didn’t even take the bag out of the box for months after purchasing it, whether it was respect for the bag or a fear of ruining it, I don’t know.

So I meant to link up with Aunie at Aunie Sauce, but thanks to a ridiculous amount of work last week and Christmas and all, you get to have it now! Yay! Here goes nothing:

Whoa. All you type A’s out there getting itchy looking at that? Don’t worry, I’ll show you what I threw out first after! I feel like a little explanation is necessary.

• I keep this clutch in my purse so I can grab it and run into the store quickly without my huge bag. I keep my license, debit card, and chapstick inside at all times. I also tend to forget a clutch when I go out and I refuse to lug that heffer around a bar or wedding.
• I usually have this coffee sleeve from my friend Dana, my earphones I never use and possibly a name tag from my day job floating around my bag. You know, the important stuff.
• So I used to use this wallet before the zipper broke and now it pretty much houses change (when I collect it from the bottom of my bag), business cards, and my checkbook. Not confusing at all.
• The hat is from a spontaneous dinner out with my husband following a late morning sans shampoo, rinse, repeat. The boot sock was supposed to be part of my outfit on Christmas Eve, but I forgot the other sock (running late = finish getting ready in the car).
• I like keeping memorial cards from loved ones in my bag. Every time I see them it’s a little reminder of those people.
• I don’t like to wear my Pandora bracelet to Starbucks because it’s leather and I’m afraid it will get ruined so it tends to live in my bag when I’m not wearing it. My sister-in-law gave it to me for my birthday 2 years ago, and it currently has a butterfly that matches hers, a blue bead from my mama-in-law and a wedding bell my sister gave me the night before my wedding. The Jersey Shore bracelet is from my cousin and she bought it to raise money to rebuild the shore from Hurricane Sandy.
• Starbucks schedule and a gift card to Forever 21, my Secret Santa gift from a co-worker. I can’t wait to spend it!
• 2 lipglosses, 2 chapsticks (they have Disney princesses on them…my friend Meghan has Sleeping Beauty, her fave), a lipstick, hand sanitizer, tweezers, Advil (necessary) and matches from Ramie & Jeff’s wedding in November.
• My makeup bag, also gifted to me from my friend Dana. This bag is my lifeline. I don’t know what I’d do without it. Sadly, it often comes with me to work because I’m bad at waking up in time to actually finish getting ready at home (see a pattern here?).
• Lastly…4 sets of keys. Yup. I actually put my car keys back on my real keys. I have been too lazy to do so since I got my car back but after my husband nagging me for 2 weeks, its done! I also have my keys to the front door and my office at my day job as well as a keychain with store loyalty cards, which I also added to my Vera Bradley chain lanyard.

And now the truly scary part…

Receipts, old pay stubs, keychain from the auto shop, movie stubs, an exploded lotion (love Hempz, ahh tanning!) and who knows what else! Luckily, They all went in the trash and my purse is nice and clean for about another week!

So what does this all say about me? I think it says I’m busy and while I’d like to be organized, I’m not so good at it. Also, I’m addicted to lip products. And sleeping past my alarm.

What does your bag and its contents say about you? Head over to Aunie Sauce and check out her link up! I LOVE her bag but I know I could never rock a neon bag for long. My love of fully matching outfits would prohibit it. Although I do love my teal patent leather Guess bag, perfect for summer! (It may have even gone to the beach once or twice!)

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The Whole Pie.

So about a month ago, I wrote about my issue with pie face and my new attempt to get it under control. All I have to say as a follow up is HA. I’m not sure who I thought I was trying to start a diet during the holiday season…the time of cookies and peppermint mochas and comfort food. Also the time of NO TIME for me which equals trying to cram food in my face during my 10 minute break at Bucks. Sadly, the pie face has become worse.

Extreme pie face (and vertically challenged) with the girls

I have never had a normal relationship with food. I was an extremely picky eater as a kid. I would make my parents bring pizza into Chinese restaurants whenever they wanted to eat there. My standard dinner consisted of rigatoni with butter and parmesan cheese. You don’t get much plainer than that. I struggled with my weight during middle school and remember a sit-down with my parents where they awkwardly told me I needed to watch what I was eating. 
I could eat whatever I wanted during cheerleading season when I was working out 4 times a week, but during the off season (and since I had quit gymnastics during 6th grade) my weight went up. Enter high school and all-star cheerleading which knows no “off season.” We practiced 4-5 times a week year round and I couldn’t have gained weight if I tried. I ate past almost every night and either pizza, French fries or Ramen noodles for school lunch.

Worst offenders

Of course that all ended when I went to college, quit cheerleading (they made us do pushups when the football team scored…no thanks) and discovered that less working out meant more time allocated to drinking, yeah! Not so wonderful for my waistline. Still, I didn’t heed my mother’s warnings and ate pasta, pizza, whatever every day. I also discovered jalapeno potato chips which are to this day my best friend and arch nemesis rolled into one.

 
After I dropped out of college, I went through a pretty tough time in my life. I obviously didn’t care about myself at all considering the crap I put my body (and my emotions) through. I was putting all my energies into a relationship with a craptastic guy (and receiving next to nothing back) and drowning my sorrows in bags of chips. For a short time, after bingeing on chips or pasta, I would make myself throw up. It felt better to feel my stomach cleared out because I would literally eat until I felt sick. I don’t know exactly what in my life was missing that I was trying to replace with food, but it never helped. Although I no longer purge after I eat, when I have a bad day, I turn to pasta and chocolate chip cookies to feel better instead of the recommended workout.

 
Since meeting my husband, Ron, we have alternated between eating healthily and a calorie free-for-all. We both like unhealthy food and after dieting for months on end, go off the deep end and gain all the weight back. Before our wedding, I lost 32 pounds. On my 5’0 frame, you can bet that was significant. I swore to myself it would be the last time I had to “diet.” I said I would continue eating healthily after the wedding and working out 3-4 times a week. But it never happened. In fact, I think my Christmas night Just Dance 4 competition with Ron’s uncle and cousin was my first work out since before our wedding.

Dance off!

So now here I am 20 pounds up from my wedding weight (but still 12 down? Tiny success? No, didn’t think so.) and wondering where to go from here. Considering I never knew healthy eating and never had conventional mealtimes thanks to a full schedule (cheerleading and gymnastics 3-4 times a week…each) I don’t even think I know HOW to go about eating healthily when NOT on a diet. You now, maintaining. So far my approach has been all or nothing and clearly it’s not working.

 
So what do you fitness gurus and healthy foodies suggest? From what I know now, I’m thinking everything in moderation and replacing anything possible with a low fat/carb/sodium or whole wheat/grain options. I’m also joining a gym near my work with a friend and will also try to attend workout classes I actually like (hello zumba and hot yoga!), but with a packed schedule and limited budget, that’s about all I got. Maybe that’s all there is? Either way, I could use some advice…whatcha got for me?

Wedding skinnies, where are you?

Taken for granted.

SO. I got my car back on Monday! And yes it was as wonderful as you and I have always dreamed about (I can say always when it was gone for a whole month!).  Driving home (haha home…what’s that?) to work, I enjoyed the smoothness of the ride and my luxurious steering wheel (seriously, I’ve been marveling over my steering wheel all week). It got me thinking about how we take things for granted in our life and how we don’t realize the amazing things we have until we don’t have them anymore.
A few days later, my friend Jillian came to visit me at the Bucks. I was especially excited to see her because she lives in Hawaii and I haven’t seen her since my wedding in July! I immediately ran around the bar and gave her the world’s biggest hug and said hello to her mom as well who she was shopping with. A few hours later while making frappucinos, I saw another friend, Sean, and his mom, Marianne waving to me. Sean grew up with my hubs and their moms are also good friends so I know them both well. (Both Jillian AND Sean were in our wedding party!) After waving hello, offering them a drink (Sorry I forgot, Jill!) and then waving goodbye, I went back to the drink I was making, and it hit me just like it always does in the most mundane everyday circumstances. I’ll never shop with my mom again. It’s weird I thought of it that way because besides one time for bridesmaid dresses, I haven’t shopped with my mom in years, maybe a decade. We fought a lot when I was a teenager and between that and my busy gymnastics/cheerleading schedule, I didn’t go to the mall a lot anyway. Plus the mall was 45 minutes away from my house growing up so no one ever wanted to drive that far unless you were putting in some work (which we did when I was younger!).  Even though shopping really wasn’t a recent activity my mom and I did together, I was still upset that it was something that WOULDN’T be happening again. While rationalizing with myself and trying to make myself feel better, 2 things hit me. 1. Although I was a jerk when I was younger and am still coming out of that phase, I feel like I could have been much closer to my mom as an adult. Had she lived in NJ, maybe we would have gone shopping or out to lunch. Then again I think a lot of the ways I am changing (for the better) are a result from my mom’s passing and more recently, my grandfather’s passing. It made me realize the importance of family, even if you don’t always get along.

I’m extremely lucky to have the support system I do because it gets pretty hard sometimes to get through this first year without my mom. I almost think it’s harder to grasp because we lived so far from each other and didn’t see each other or speak often. Everytime I think of something to tell her or feel sick or upset (no matter what my mom is always the one I want when my tummy hurts or I’m sad), I actually take out my phone to call her. One time I did. Weirdly enough, nothing happened, the phone didn’t ring. I think that happened for a reason. It would have hurt too bad to get a disconnected message or hear another voice pick up the phone. I know my mom lives on and is with me all the time. I’ve been thinking of her so much this Christmas season because she was so great at Christmas. Some of the things I’ll always remember:

• Picture frames wrapped in wrapping paper
• Also, PERFECT gift wrapping
• Decorating the Christmas tree together while listening to this song
• My mom re-decorating the Christmas tree because she was a perfectionist
• Her pinecone ornaments that she hid in the tree so they looked like the belonged
• The light up Santa Claus head she hung in my bedroom window. The red and white lights were so comforting at night.
• The millions upon millions of presents we used to get
• How she NEVER bought someone a gift card, something I used to question but nevertheless the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
• Snowmen…everywhere. My mom loved them. I know have snowman place mats and a snowman shower curtain (courtesy of my mama-in-law!) and I plan to add more over the years
• Anything crafty and DIY. My mom was DIY before DIY was cool. She made so many adorable ornaments and Christmas decorations. My favorite was a large wooden Christmas tree she gave to my grandparents that had all the grandkids’ names on its branches.
• Personalization…she put my sister’s and my names on so many ornaments! After I met my husband, she started doing it with our names.
• Our stockings would be hung on our doorknob when we woke up in the morning and my sister and I would take them into my parents’ room (without looking at the tree!) and open them together on my parents’ bed.
• Christmas morning in general. My mom LOVED watching us open presents. She tried so hard to make us happy and I’m pretty sure she never failed.

Sorry to get all melancholy on ya around the holidays. Blogging is part fun, part therapy for me. It truly helps to be able to get my feelings out about my mom & it’s actually opened conversation with a lot of friends who I probably wouldn’t have talked with about it. Christmas is the perfect time to be thankful for what we have and give to others. I’m doing so through Operation WANA thanks to MODG. Anyway you can help this time of year, even if it’s just a smile for a tired Starbucks employee (hint hint), do so. It feels so good on both ends. (that’s what she said) (sorry I’m not sorry)

I PROMISE…a fun post tomorrow. Merry early Christmas!

Christmas is all in the Cards

Haha see what I did there?

This was the first year (I think?) Ron and I sent out cards and we chose to do a photo card. I THOUGHT of using a photo of us chosen from our professional wedding pictures, but then a special little moment happened while we were stranded at the in-laws during Hurricane Sandy. My in-laws said the pups would make a cute Christmas card and that was all my iPhone wielding self needed. Behold, the Bononno Christmas card 2012:

Aren’t they just the sweetest? Of course, Clark was probably biting Bruce’s legs 2 minutes later, but oh well.

I’m working Bucks for the next 3 nights from 6:30-12 which is going to equal one tired Lindsay. But some happy things coming up include Christmas (duh) which also means 2 days off from work and my aunt’s lasagna, a playdate with one of my favorite girls in the world, Jillian!, who’s home from Hawaii (as well as meeting her boyfriend finally!) and getting my car back this afternoon! Woo hoo! Honestly, after yesterday’s mishaps at Bucks, I was ready for this week to start anew.

Of course I can’t post without expressing my dismay and overwhelming sadness from the tragedy in Connecticut last Friday. There are sick people in this world, but I never could have imagined a disaster of this capacity. My heart goes out to all the families who lost loved ones & my thoughts are with them. Rest in peace to those sweet angels.

Just a thought…

Clark almost looks calm here…

Things I think When…

I’m Driving…
Pay attention, pay attention, pay attention
What kind of car is THAT?
Haha z100 is so funny
Seriously? You’re shaving Greg T’s butt on the radio? This is so stupid.
Oops, pay attention, Lindsay!
Pretty Christmas lights!
You bleeper!
Dude, speeding up when I put my turn signal on and blocking me from getting over to my exit will not end well for you.
BLEEP! ROAD WORK?!?!?!

I’m at work…
This video is so annoying. I think I can recite every word.
Ick, my coffee is cold. I should heat it up.
Ron is still sleeping. What a jerk.
I really have to pee. I should probably get up and do that.
Get off Facebook and get to work!
Jeez, this student is NEVER here.
Sorry, ma’am, but I’m not your daughter’s secretary. You can tell her about her dentist appt yourself.
Ugh this video!
No you’ve reached the school. I can transfer you to the salon.
Is it 5:30 yet?

I’m working at Starbucks…
Yes the line starts over there.
Seriously, you probably shouldn’t get “extra extra extra” whipped cream.
I can’t hear you in the middle of the food court when you whisper.
Ok, please spell Lashaniquanaynay for me?
Yes, you DO have to wait in the line to pay.
What the eff kind of drink is that?
You mean FRAPPUCINO. Frappes are sold at McDonalds.
The sizes are tall, grande and venti. Or you can just say small, medium or large and I think I’ll get it.
I heard you ask for a gingerbread latte 3 times, but I need to know what SIZE.
God these people are stupid.
Ugh this is supposed to be soy, oops.
Bleep! I poured the wrong milk again.
Damn, I’m an idiot.
Are we closed yet?

I’m at home…
I should really clean the bathroom, but I’ll just watch this show until the next commercial.
Ok, maybe the NEXT commercial.
Ugh we have no food. Pizza for dinner?
GET DOWN CLARK!
The tree is so pretty. We should put up more decorations.
Ugh I still have to put the boxes back in the closet.
CLARK LEAVE BRUCE ALONE!
I wish Ron would get home.
Yay, Ron’s home!
Will he notice if I don’t do the dishes until tomorrow?
WHICH ONE OF YOU PEED ON THE FLOOR?!
Ew the bathroom is gross.
I want ice cream.
Ew I’m getting for real fat.
Great, I don’t want to go on a diet.
Maybe tomorrow. Or Monday. Monday is better.
CLARK!!!

When I’m working out…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Got you there, huh? What are you thinking throughout the day?

Kind of puts it in perspective…

So after reading this, my sleepless night and long day don’t seem so terrible anymore.

When a Soldier Comes Home

 

Thanks to Janna at Perception is Everything for that reminder.

Crashed

Last night started out simply enough. I left work around 5:50, later than normal because our staff meeting didn’t end on time. I got in the car & replied to a couple text messages before pulling out of the parking lot. I made a mental list of the things we had neglected to get while grocery shopping the day before: garlic, bananas, something else what was it? I was planning on making chicken and garlic broccoli for dinner & since we threw away the chopped garlic that had been in our frig thanks to the hurricane, I needed more. I didn’t have to work at the Bucks which is always cause to be happy and I was hoping I’d be able to clean & cook dinner before my husband got home around 8 so we could spend time together. My drive home is fairly easy. Sometimes there is traffic on 287 but it usually clears up after the exit for Route 80 & then it’s smooth sailing. I had a little bit of coffee left from our meeting; I generally take all day to finish my canister of coffee & heat it up when it gets cold. I went to take a sip and missed the mouth hole, a typical hot mess thing for me to do. I was upset because I was wearing a cute jumper my friend had passed down to me & didn’t want it to stain. I looked down to check my dress, brushing the stray drops of coffee off th fabric & when I looked up there was a wall of traffic in front of me, way too close. I slammed on my breaks, but there wasn’t enough time. My car ran into the back of a white Ford F150 pick up truck. I’ve never been so scared in my entire life. In the few seconds I had before impact, I tried to check the other lanes to see if I could pull to the side, but no go. I was in the middle lane & both sides had traffic in front & cars next to me. After hitting the truck, I was able to follow him to the right shoulder of the highway & traffic cleared up. I don’t know what had caused it or why cars were in a stop on 287 for approximately 2 seconds, but it was gone as I sat scared on the side of the road while tractor trailers zoomed past me, shaking my car. The guy in the pickup truck got out of the car to assess the damage, bumper scratches for him & a wrecked hood, bumper & light for me. I got out of the car to look as well, careful to stay as far away from the road as possible, and the guy began screaming & cursing at me. Scared, I went back to the passenger side of the car and waited for the police to come, as the man had assured me he would call them. The wait turned out to be a decent amount of time & after calling my husband and putting him on alert to pick me up somewhere, I sat in the car, only getting out to take pictures of both vehicles. A few minutes later, I saw bright headlights behind me and was happy the police were there and at least I could get off the busy roadway. No luck…some random guy with a flat tire had been driving on the shoulder to take the exit up ahead when our vehicles became his roadblock. I opened the door (STUPID) and spoke to him, telling him no I could not move my car to allow him access to the exit but that the police were on their way and could possibly help him get by. He left, I locked the door, and a few minutes later, he pulled out into a lag of traffic and was able to get around us. Another 15 or so minutes went by before a police officer came, talking to myself & the truck guy and called me a tow truck, deeming my car unsafe to drive. My husband picked me up at the gas station/towing company about 20 minutes later and took me home where he made dinner (turkey cutlets and cous cous) and took care of the dogs. I laid on a heating pad and watched Shrek Forever After as my sore back and shoulder rested.

I can tell you this much: I am incredibly lucky. Lucky I looked up when I did and not any later. Lucky I have a safe car that took the brunt of the impact. Lucky I wasn’t rear ended as well. Lucky it was a truck I hit instead of a smaller car, or a bigger truck that my car could have gone under at all, or a motorcycle. And it’s this last thought that invaded my thoughts even while Shrek & Donkey were fighting on the TV screen. Even while Clark was doing his best to be cute and cheer me up. Even while I cuddled in bed with my stuffed monster Ron got me. It. Could. Have. Been. So. Much. Worse. I know I should just be thankful it wasn’t & take the necessary precautions to never let something like this happen again. I know accidents happen and I didn’t do it on purpose. But I also know this accident could have had a much worse outcome & that thought makes me ashamed and miserable, then guilty for feeling miserable when it was my own fault. I feel like a kid…I can’t handle the simplest act of driving a car and stopping for traffic. And there’s no one to blame for it but myself. Not even a week after a post about being clumsy and the need to be more aware of myself & this happens. It’s always something with me and usually it just affects myself…my broken iPhone, my stubbed toe, my finger cut open with a steak knife (happened at our friend’s wedding last weekend…cross “cutting bread” of my list of skills). This time it affected another person. He may have driven off with a slightly scratched bumper, but had another vehicle been in front of me, that may not have been the case.

I wish I could count my blessings & just be happy to know it wasn’t worse and that all parties were involved, but I know me. I know this is going to haunt me for a while. Perhaps that’s a good thing in the long run. Maybe this is the straw that broke the camel’s back (and my car) to finally kill the clumsy. Whether that’s the case or not, I can assure you I will be the most conscientious driver you’ve ever seen. I will be leaving SUPER EXTRA early to get everywhere I need to be because slow & steady wins the race and if that gets me and my car to my destination safely, that’s what I’m gonna do. I will also refrain from eating/drinking in the car (unless I’m a passenger) and my phone will get a new friend named Bluetooth. Feel free to call me Grandma here on out…cause I will be cruise control to the speed limit and not a decimal over. As for now, god speed to the wonderful mechanic working on my car & fingers crossed that everything is fine.

 

My damage

His damage

 

PS – Huge thank you to my husband (for obvious reasons) & my in-laws who volunteered to drive me to and from work when they can…especially my father-in-law for driving me today! (And imparting some safe defensive-driving wisdom)

[20]13

Looking forward & making goals for your future are pretty important if you’re ever going to get to where you want to be. New Year’s resolutions are not uncommon following the end of a year, but this time I’m making mine in advance. It will allow me to feel them out for a while & prep, maybe get into some good habits before the 1st of the year. I’m linking up with the girls at the blog Truly Lovely & their readers to give you 20 of my goals for 2013. Thanks to Kym at Travel Babbles for posting & inspiring this list. May it be the best year yet!

1. Move to North Carolina
2. Make healthy living a habit
3. Write my first book!
4. Travel somewhere new with my hubs
5. Get a tattoo for my mom
6. Organize a fundraiser for cancer research (I’ve got some ideas!)
7. Secret wish…lucky #7!
8. Grow my blog
9. Cook more often
10. Keep a clean apartment/house
11. Go on more dates with the hubs
12. Join a book club
13. Start an Etsy shop
14. Save money
15. Practice living simply
16. Send birthday cards & “just because” notes.
17. Do things with my friends that don’t center around alcohol.
18. Keep a daily photo journal.
19. Stop biting my nails (ew)
20. Lose the guilt/shame/whatever & be happy <3

What are 20 goals for your 2013?