Satisfaction isn’t necessarily happiness. It’s kind of like that feeling you get after a good meal, one that was tasty and filling, but doesn’t require you to put on your sweatpants. It’s a night spent at home, wrapped in a blanket with a candle lit and a good show on tv. It’s a glass of wine or two and conversation. It’s laughter and being silly, playful. Being satisfied doesn’t mean all the chips are in place or that every loose end is tied up. It means that although the laundry isn’t done, the dishes are and you can’t see the overflowing laundry basket from here anyway. It’s the ability to forget your problems and worries and lose yourself in the moment, a moment so insignificant, it’s unrecognizable from the hundreds others like it. And that’s the point. It’s safety and comfort and WARM. I think those are the best ways to describe the feeling of being satisfied…full and warm. Full of food in the literal sense, but mostly full of life and warmth. It’s like being tucked in at night when you were a little kid. It’s a full breakfast on Sunday mornings and a surprise just because. I don’t know about feeling the MOST satisfied because I feel that way a lot lately, but the last time I truly felt satisfied was last Thursday night. I had a long day at work and then went over to my cousin’s tanning salon where I’m helping to launch a makeup division. After spending about 2 hours going through the shipment of Glamorous cosmetics she received, I tanned and went home. By the time I got there, it was 9:00 and the dog needed to be fed and walked. There were dishes in the sink and I hadn’t eaten dinner. Ron was still at work and I just felt run down and blah. I was almost done washing the dishes when Ron came home, said hello with a quick kiss. Not surprisingly, he immediately went to the bathroom, not to resurface for 10 or so minutes. When he did, he came back to the kitchen and noticed the huffy expression on my face.
“Nothing” (My usual response to this question…at least the first 5 times before I finally say what’s wrong after exasperated exhales and pointed looks. I’m so predictable, it’s sad.)
After some prodding, I mentioned my long day and something dumb that had happened at work. Ron could barely wait for me to finish my sentence before he held out his hand. Unsure of what he was doing, I put my hand in his as though to shake it. He promptly let go and grabbed my other hand and with a mischievous smile, lead me down the hallway to our bedroom.
There on our king size bed (one of my favorite things we own) were three outfits laid out. A black, gray, and white sweater with a black patent leather belt, a fun printed dress in mostly brown and earthy hues that would go great with my brown boots, and a white, gray, and black dress that was business-like and professional while still cute and stylish.
Ron, the amazing boyfriend that he is, knew that I was having touble finding clothes to wear to work every day. With my past jobs being at a modeling studio and then in retail, my clothes varied from trendy to casual with a few professional pieces thrown in (most that I had bought when I first got my current job). Everyday I would stare at my side of our joint walk-in closet and feel anxious and stressed about finding a professional outfit that I hadn’t already worn this week (and hopefully not the last!). He would always assure me I looked great, my hair looked great, etcetera, etcetera. Just the fact that he realized how stressful this was for me and took action to pick out and buy me clothes (knowing I wouldn’t be able to spend extra money on my wardrobe) made me cry and laugh at the same time. I never imagined I would find someone so thoughtful and who cared so much about me.
After the big surprise unveiling, we went to watch tv in the living room. I honestly can’t remember what we watched (probably Jersey Shore) or if we even made anything to eat for dinner. I don’t know if a candle was lit and I don’t think I had a glass of wine. But the same feeling was there. The feeling that you couldn’t want anything else in life at that moment. That everything you could possibly need was at your fingertips. Ron makes me feel like that a lot of the time. Even when I’m worried about money or family, he’s always there to fill in the spots and make me feel whole again, feel full. Satisfied.