I’m probably going to regret this…

I’m just going to come out and say it. I HATE TWITTER. Seriously, I do. I know some of you tweetheads out there love you some Twitter, but I really just can’t get on board. I’m addicted to Facebook, love Instagram (but forget to use it and then overload it within 2 hours and then forget again), but I Twitter and I are not friends. I’ll tell you why:

1. Everytime I try to use Twitter, it tells me it’s over capacity. What the what, Tweetsville? How are you “over capacity?” And no, I don’t want to come back later, I’m actually remembering to tweet NOW so let me tweet, damnit.

2. Shameless plugs ALL IN MY FACE. And no, not the posts from bloggers with updates. I will definitely take those thank you. I mean the companies who pay people to put stupid links up and oh try this! And blah di blah blah. NO THANKS.

3. I follow a whole bunch of fantasy football stuff and I want them to shut up. In my head, football is over until the superbowl when Hubs and I have a big party and then it’s over again until I get mildly excited about it in August (that ends mid September). I know I can unfollow them all, but that just seems like a lot of work.

4. EVERYONE uses it which makes me feel like I HAVE to use it, especially to be a good blogger. By putting my thoughts, feelings, and ridiculousness out here for you all, I also need to provide you with a million ways to stalk me. Also, please follow me here and like me here (and in general). Oops, just violated my own hate reasons.

5. It just seems dumb. Also, I didn’t have a number 5 really.

6. Oh wait, I do. I always just seem to end up tweeting my friends about Sons of Anarchy or whatever when I could just text them much quicker from the same device I’m twittering from.

7. Ooh and another! The stacking number of updates makes me anxious. Seriously, I have 3 right now and I know it’s going to jump to 47 in about 30 seconds and then I’ll have to update it and then it will creep up again and it’s a neverending cycle of Twitter Anxiety (real life condition).

So to recap: I hate Twitter, but I guess I have to use it so you can all see the shots of 140 characters I have to share throughout my day. But beware, I will probably forget and then send 800 tweets within 5 minutes to make up for it just like my pal Instagram. Also? They’ll probably be boring. Because I work all day. And because of my fatness, I then go to the gym. And then I go home and eat dinner and watch TV while working on my blog. All very boring. So don’t blame me if my tweets suck (but seriously, can you follow me?)


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