A couple of months ago if you had told me I would be sleeping with my bedroom door open, I would have never believed you. Such a silly, seemingly dumb inconsequential thing for me to even thing about, let alone write a whole post about, right? Maybe, maybe not. Sleep is a truly personal thing, from where to how to who with (hopefully!). I’ve always slept with the TV on both for light and background noise, but lately I’ve found that noise can be incredibly disruptive to my sleep. I still like having the light (especially when your 3 year old has a tendency to silently creep into your room and stare at you until you notice her), but leave it on our TV’s screen saver to fall asleep – when I remember to set it that way.
A big preference for me in terms of sleeping (other than the need to be 100x colder than my husband…little to no blankets, fan on, etc.), is having the door closed. Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve slept with my door closed. I’ve always shut the doors to the kids’ rooms (when allowed by my tiny humans), too. Mostly because it was just always what I did, but also for privacy, and if I want to be annoying and justify it – if there were to be a house fire, a door does delay things enough to give you a bit more time to get out and prevent as much smoke damage/inhalation (thanks, NBC). Besides these safety measures, I really just prefer my door closed. I don’t want to hear the dogs in their beds downstairs. I don’t want to hear every little noise from the house settling/laundry going/outdoor car doors, etc. because I’ll spook myself into thinking it’s something inside my house.
BUT. Sawyer has been challenging with his sleep habits lately. He wants the light on, the fan off, a book read to him, a book read to his sister, his lovey and cabbage patch, but NO OTHER STUFFED ANIMALS, his blanket (or may may as he and Riley call them) on, and DOOR OPEN. If you should happen to shut his door, you are in for a world of screaming. But he doesn’t just want HIS door open. He also wants MY door open. When he first started with this request, I thought our TV would keep him up, but it works as his background noise as well. He always needs to see our door open (“Mama door OOHH!”), and if I go to the bonus room to work, he needs to know that, too.
Last night I put Riley back to bed after she got up after 11:00 and checked in on my boy as well. I turned on his nightlight and shut off the lamp. I climbed back over the baby gate (a precaution so he doesn’t decide to head downstairs if he wakes up), and went into my room where the light was off and the TV was quietly on. I had the door halfway shut when I thought of his sweet face laying on his pillow and opened it back up. Again, there are practical reasons why I might want it open – to hear him or Riley if they woke up, so if he DID wake up he could see that my door was open, etc. – but it was emotional at heart.
These kiddos will only make these requests for so long. They will only WANT to be by me, WANT me to lay with them, WANT me to tell them a story, for so long. Soon they will read by themselves in bed. Soon they will shut (or God forbid slam) their doors to keep me out. Soon they won’t want to lay by me in bed at night or in the early morning to watch cartoons. I tend to get caught up in the To-do’s of the day much more than I should (need to cook dinner, need to clean up dinner, need to clean the bathroom, need to send an email, need to give the kids baths, brush their teeth, their hair, get them to bed) and it’s so, SO easy to forget that one day soon their To-do’s will be done without me. That my To-do’s will still include them, but in a much different way (sign the form, pay the fee, wash the uniform, etc.) and if I can keep those baby wishes for any amount of time, I will.
Even if it’s just to sleep with the door open.
And yes, I take WAY too many pictures of my sleeping babes.